Sunday, May 23, 2010

I'm ending the affair

I should never have let our relationship get this I'm sorry. I knew you were wrong for me, that we shouldn't be together, but it happened so fast and so innocently; we were involved before I even knew it. Oh, I knew the signs...hadn't I cast enough stones at other people to be aware when I, myself, started an affair?!?

We're just not good for each other, and because I belong to someone else, I should never have given as much of myself, or ANY of myself, to YOU. Sure, it seemed good at the time, it felt good too...but that's the way these things go, right? We even carried on in public, that's the worst part. But I guess keeping things secret wouldn't have been better, necessarily. I've dealt with guilt on top of it all now too. Serves me right, I guess.

You'll be just fine without me. In fact, I'm sure I'm not the only one you were carrying on with. You probably have someone new already. But, me...this will take time. I'm not sure how to live without you anymore, how unhealthy is THAT? It will be a moment by moment decision not to call you, not to relive those memories...I should be thinking of HIM instead of you. I'm not quite sure who I am now, you've changed me... or I've changed...but I want to know who I am without you. What does the future hold when I move on without you?

And so, Bitterness, we are through. I'm severing ties with you...I do not belong to you in any way, I know Whom I've belonged to and I've been unfaithful. Thank God, He forgives me. What kind of lover is that? But, I'll take it! We were never good for each other, and you only make things worse...No more. So, good-bye. Hopefully, the next time we meet, I'll be a different girl and I'll just smile and pass you by. I won't remember you with fondness, or long for the past we had...but I will walk with an uplifted heart and a hope, a hope for something beautiful.

1 comment:

karenstacy said...

I have been working on a very similar post..... It is not bitterness though. You will have to wait and see. Come to think of it I have started two posts similar.
Arrggghh and now I have to finish them because I told you I would. Good motivation!