Lucy and I

Public repentance. Man, I'm such a whiner sometimes. I'm sorry for my sucky attitude lately. Thanks for letting me vent, and for helping me move on. I know that God cares greatly about our feelings and wants, but after we're honest with Him about all of that, as a Christian we need to take that next step and start to conform ourselves to His will.

What would God be able to do with a depressed whiny girl who can't see past her own sadness? Not much...and not until she moved on. One who can't see the blessings she HAS been given? For almost two years I wanted (whined sometimes) about wanting a ministry job, about wanting our own house...and we have it! (it took longer than we thought, but we definitely learned patience and made friends that we desperately needed- patience and these friends!)

I seem to be dis-satisfied with life and God's performance in it sometimes. I have so much to learn; even though I feel like I've learned so much!!! There's always more...everytime I grow...everytime I learn...there's more to learn..more room to grow! And I admit, it's frustrating sometimes. But it's this way for all Children.

I'm a huge CoNarnia fan, and although CS Lewis is not God, there is a lot of truth in his books. The following is from Prince Caspian as Lucy finally sees Aslan again:

"Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy. "At last!"
..."Welcome, child," he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger!"
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
(Aslan asks Lucy to follow him, even though her siblings can't see him and won't believe her.)

"Oh dear, oh dear," said Lucy, "And I was so pleased at finding you again. And I thought you'd let me stay. And I thought you'd come roaring in and frighten all the enemies away- like last time. And now everything is going to be horrid."
"It is hard for you, little one," said Aslan. "But things never happen the same way twice. It has been hard for us all in Narnia before now."
Lucy buried her head in his mane to hide from his face. But there must have been magic in his mane. She could feel lion-strength going into her. Quite suddenly, she sat up.
"I'm sorry Aslan," she said. "I'm ready now."
"Now you are a lioness," said Aslan. "And now all Narnia will be renewed. But come. We have no time to lose."

And last night's conversation with God could have happened just like that.