Ay de mi....

So, I smirked every time I read or was told about women who pushed themselves too far after surgery and lengthened their recovery time. I thought, "Why would you do that? And, don't they KNOW they're not supposed to do too much?....I wonder how much is too much?" Well, ladies and gentlemen, point the mirror this direction please....

For the last week(ish) I have been feeling SO much better!!! I've physically only felt a little sore and the last 2 days I haven't felt sore at all! So...you can guess what I've done...I've started picking up Hannah a few times (like 6 or 8), Wednesday night I helped scrape glue off the Youth floor (we're stripping it to stain the cement bc it floods and ruined the carpet) for an hour, Thursday I carried buckets of water trying to empty out the kiddie pool, and I've been walking for several mornings to get back into some sort of shape before I start the "REAL" training after my release (*see end of blog), and this morning I decided to try walking faster than normal. (in my defense, an older lady walked past me on the track and almost doubled up again...so I thought surely I should be walking faster, right?) Well, and I hope I don't gross anyone out here, I got home and realized that I'd been bleeding a bit. (I haven't bled AT ALL since the day of surgery) Called the nurse, she asked questions; told me to rest and don't push myself so hard. I'm going in Wednesday for my "release" so they'll check it out then as long as it doesn't get worse. *sigh* Eh, what's a girl to do??? I wasn't trying to be stupid, it just happened!

And I realize that's the way bitterness had gotten such a hold on me. I wasn't trying to be bitter; it just happened! I gave it permission in little steps, allowances at a time. Every time I was disappointed or hurt (leaving friends, no job, no house, no more kids, far away from family, physical pain, depression, Christians who hurt you, loneliness, etc) I gave bitterness a little more ground; let it get its foot in the door until it had set up house in my heart; and you know how hard it is to pack and move!! :) But when I decided that Truth is true and the rest are lies...Lies only have a facade of power. Darkness HAS to flee from light.

So, I have to go back to resting some more than I have been. Make sure that I am good and recovered before I try to be "normal" again. lol I have to guard and protect my body and heart so that I can heal. (You know what I mean!)


*I've started a new blog as I'm getting back in shape and training for a 5k and beyond (hopefully)! Check it out and answer any questions you can and leave me some encouragement or tips, please! See Mommy Run!